Grew up in the Netherlands, dad is Dutch & mom South African. Mom got cancer so we moved in 2012 to South Africa, to give her side of the family also the opportunity to say their goodbyes. She died in July 2012. I felt rejected, I felt angry, alone, as if my trust was broken. And I knew the Lord, my parents did have a really good relationship with Him, but I wasn’t really interested. Things didn’t make sense. Everything around me was new, the school, language, people, even my South African side of the family. In a way I did feel really alone. Year after my mom died, my dad also was diagnosed with cancer – but he went for treatment and is perfect now! It did leave a big wound and obvious questions. Went through high school, did make some good friends. In matric, a friend introduced me to Meta. Wanted rather to go study, because everyone I knew started University, but all my paths lead to Meta. The first few months were quite emotional, those things that bothered me and which I again and again ignored – came up and my coach walked all the way with me! After a few months, I forgave the Lord – because I understood his heart for his people – and chose Him because He is a good father! And until today, I will choose Him over and over again. Do I miss my mom? Yes, always will! Do I still feel anxious for people to leave, for rejection? Yes, sometimes. Only difference is, I know my truth, God’s truth.
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